The topic of boundaries comes up a lot in coaching. It’s often an outcome of discussions around people feeling overwhelmed and overloaded or not doing work that aligns to their strengths.
Through our conversations, it often becomes evident that without setting clear lines in the sand, it can be hard for us to deliver on our priorities and for others to understand what’s negotiable – and what’s not – for us and our teams.
Image: Rob Wicks, unsplash
There are many big benefits for leaders who are able to set and maintain clear boundaries, which can include better management of their health and wellbeing and setting good examples for their teams - everyone wins.
But it’s not only about getting boundaries in place – it’s how you keep them in place when times get tricky… Here are ten approaches that can help you to set your own lines in the sand and importantly, maintain them.
1. Recognise why this matters
Understanding why boundaries are so important is the first step towards setting them. When you’re constantly balancing priorities and strategic decisions, trying to bolster team morale and juggling loads of demands, recognising that having boundaries in place can help you keep stress at bay. Boundaries can reduce the feeling that we’re playing ‘whack-a-mole’ and instead, stay focused.
As a result, you’ll have greater clarity on what you’re saying no to so that you can say yes to the things that really matter. You can start the ball rolling by thinking about what’s really important in both your work and personal life. This will help you start to think about what good boundaries might look like for you.
2. Clearly define your boundaries
What does a boundary look like? It could be something like confirming specific working hours, rules about work communications outside office hours (e.g. no work emails or messages after 7pm) or keeping holidays protected.
Ambiguity can be your enemy here – being unclear can lead you down a path of overcommitment and stress, which means…
3. Communicating your boundaries effectively
It’s crucial to be clear about what’s acceptable and what’s not for you. Letting your team know your limits and the reasons behind these can help to create an open working environment for everyone. It helps to manage expectations within your team and keeps the possibility of potential misunderstandings (and disagreements) to a minimum.
But it’s not only your commitments to your team. You’ll need to share how you and your team works in your wider organisation and potentially with customers or clients. It’s basically a contract of how you and your team are working with others so having a good conversation and setting expectations from the outset can reduce confusion down the line.
4.Lead by example
Actions speak louder than words. Sticking to your own rules is essential if you’re going to show the importance of setting ground rules and helps others to respect the ‘line in the sand’ you’ve established. And it helps you keep your own wellbeing on an even keel as you’re not trying to do everything or please everyone.
So, you might decide that you don’t send non-urgent, work-related WhatsApp messages on a public holiday in your team or after 7pm or before 7am. Or you keep your weekly team meeting as a ‘non-negotiable’ event that can’t be moved. Have a think about what could be important for you and your team.
5.Empower your team
Having a delegation process in place, with absolute clarity as to who does what is essential if you – and your team members – aren’t going to be overwhelmed by loads of tasks that could be better done by others. Match the tasks you have to your team’s strengths and let them get on with them. There’s a very fine line between offering support and micromanaging so try to make sure you’re only stepping in when it’s needed.
When you give your team permission to take on responsibilities that help them grow and develop, everyone benefits.
6.Draw a line with your tech
Technology can be a massive benefit but can also help to brilliantly blur the lines between work and the rest of our lives, so wherever you can, try to make sure you’re not ‘always on’. You’ve probably heard this a million times before, but turning off notifications – and especially outside your normal working hours – stops the constant distracting ‘pinging’ and load of messages popping up on your screen.
If it’s possible, use different devices for work and personal use and schedule specific times in your day for checking and responding to emails. Your brain will thank you for it and I promise, you’ll get more done.
7.Make sure to prioritise self-care
In my humble opinion, looking after yourself is a key foundation for good leadership. If you’re going to lead effectively, you need to create the space to keep recharged and maintain your energy and stamina.
This looks like having time for regular exercise (a daily walk is a great start), making time for activities outside work that make you smile and bring you joy and having enough sleep.
We all have different sleep, exercise and healthy diet habits so find out what works best for you.
8.Being flexible but firm
Although we need to stay strong around our boundaries, we sometimes need to be flexible, especially when there’s a crisis or something that’s time critical. The balance is making sure that your flexibility doesn’t become the norm.
So, it’s OK to stretch and adjust your boundaries temporarily. But, make sure you revert back to them as soon as the urgency is over. Make sure you explain this to your team so they’ll be clear on what’s different and why (especially if you’ve put in a lot of work to establish good boundaries) and what might be expected of them. Importantly, they will know that things will revert to normal after this period.
9.Assess and adjust regularly
As things change, you might need to evolve your approach. Taking time to reassess what you have put in place to make sure things stay relevant and are still working for everyone will help.
Finding a few minutes every week to consider how things are going and asking yourself a few questions can help. So, are you being flexible enough or too flexible? What’s not working for you – or others? What might need to change?
10.Ask for support and accountability
Getting into good habits around boundaries can take time and practice. If you have someone you trust who can help you stay on track, encourage you, give you feedback or keep you accountable, sign them up!
Things are not going to get any slower. Leaders will need to work with every tool in their kit to help sustain performance, lead with clarity and stay resilient. Boundaries are a brilliant foundation to support this.
If you’d like some helping in developing better boundaries, get in touch. I’d love to chat.