I’ve recently devoured the memoir, ‘Scoops’ by former BBC Newsnight ‘booker’ Sam McAlister, in one sitting. It’s a great read, full of fascinating secrets and insights behind some of the big names she secured during her time on the show, including Julian Assange, ex-White House press secretary, Sean Spicer, the daughter of Auschwitz commandant Rudolf Höss, as well as, of course, THAT interview with Prince Andrew.
I saw Sam speak specifically about her experience of that interview at the Inner Rebel conference and, along with her book, it’s reminded me how important the skill of negotiation is for all of us and importantly, just how often we use it.
Think of the last time you negotiated with your boss, your colleagues or one of your team – perhaps to get an extension on a deadline, to reprioritise work or just saying no to something. Being aware of how and why we’re negotiating is especially important when we’re working in uncertain and constantly shifting circumstances.
Remember that we’re dealing with human beings
Exactly as in any organisational change, negotiation involves considering the emotional part of people’s brains – not the rational or logical. So that means exercising empathy – understanding people’s emotions and seeing the situation from their point of view.
Heartfelt listening is at the core of empathy – not waiting for your turn to speak but tuning in to what someone else is saying, their words, their body language and how they’re expressing their feelings. If you do this, it’ll mean you’ll naturally adapt your approach as you progress through a conversation as negotiation isn’t linear. As Sam advises, “give your answers according to their answers, not according to what you want to say, and not according to what you think.”
A timely reminder from Sam (actually her Mum!) that being comfortable and able to speak to anyone – prince or pauper – with that level of empathy is powerful. There is no-one better or lower than you, whatever hierarchies at work might have us think.
Know people – do your research
Where are people coming from and what are their motivators? Sam was clear from the outset what Prince Andrew’s human motivators were for doing the interview – wanting to restore his reputation and get back to the life he had before. Understanding people and their perspectives can help them get comfortable with you. And you’ll learn a lot in the process.
Get an understanding of what power means – and looks like for you
Power came up time and time again during the Inner Rebel event and Sam talks about this in her book too. But as well as understanding the power that others have, it’s key to recognise and know your own power. For Sam, part of it is her ability to speak to anyone and refusing to be spoken down to, as well as being true to herself and what she called her ‘essence’. This is what makes her different from others around her. So, what does power look like for you?
It's tempting to read a book like ‘Scoops’ and think that it’s just about how news shows are produced. But there’s so much more to it.
If you’re interested in how to work better with other people and develop your own influencing and negotiation skills, then it’s definitely worth a read.
If you’d like to explore how you can develop your own influencing skills in your role and especially if you’re navigating or leading organisational change, I’d love to chat.