Many years ago, I worked with a senior leader supporting them in developing and delivering a difficult message to their team. We’d spent some time working through what the key messages needed to be. The next stage was to define how and when these messages would be delivered.
Kristina Flour, unsplash
We were both quiet, reading back through the draft messages. Although I really wanted to jump in to relieve what felt like a really uncomfortable silence by asking “how are you feeling about this?’ or “anything else you’d like to update or change?” I sat and waited.
With hindsight, I recognise that it was at that point where the reality check appeared. Although we’d spent time crafting messages, making sure we’d explored what this meant for everyone they were going to be talking to about this change, the point had come where the messages had to be said out loud to others who would be directly and indirectly impacted. This would mark the start of the process for everyone else.
Eventually, they said that they wanted to change some of the wording and have a rethink about the ‘how’ they would be delivering the update. It ended up being a very different approach from the original plan and the eventual feedback was pretty positive.
I learned a big lesson which I’ve been developing in my coaching practice ever since.
However tempting it is to want to speed things up and however hard it can feel to wait, being able to sit with someone in silence can be a gift. It gives them space to process ideas, thoughts and feelings as well as giving you pause to listen to what comes up for you in that hush too.
So, next time you find yourself in a situation where things go quiet, think about how that silence could be of benefit not only for the person you’re with, but notice how it feels for you too.
If you’d like to explore how a quiet space might help your thinking, get in touch.