Think about a conversation you’ve had recently. What do you remember from that chat? Can you recall anything? Was there one point you took away from it? Did the other person say something that you can pretty much remember word for word and that’s stuck with you? Did you make a judgement about the person you were speaking to, based on what they said?
Or did you come away from the discussion feeling angry, elated, fearful or some other emotion?
Ben White, unsplash
That is the power of words. Written or spoken, they can leave a lasting mark on others (and ourselves) as they’re almost magical in how they can spark our emotions and create feeling.
In the context of our workplaces, words take on even more importance. They become powerful tools for building teams and creating inclusion (and exclusion) at work. The words used at work can make us feel respected and valued – or completely the opposite.
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel”
So, when events become a stimulus for big change in organisations — like a restructure, a leadership change or the introduction of a new system — the words that leaders use will help to determine how people feel about what’s happening.
So how can you consciously think about how you mind your language when you’re talking about change, so those feelings are positive ones?
Remember that you know more than the people you’re speaking to — you may have been aware of your CEO’s plan to leave for months but the rest of your organisation hasn’t. So, think about the words you’re going to use from their perspective —not yours.
Paraphasing Brené Brown, by being empathetic and putting yourself in their shoes through the words you choose that work for them, you’ll help to fuel connection.
Stay high level – it’s easy to get into the weeds with facts and figures to explain what’s happening. Instead, focus on words around the ‘why’ of what’s happening and try to paint a picture of how things are going to change and be different. Use words as stories.
Test words and phrases with others before you use them. What might sound fine to you may not be appropriate for others. Plus, what you think might make sense, may need more clarification — or less.
Keep an open mind — sometimes, words seem OK on paper but when they’re used, they may make people feel excluded, rather than included. I’ve heard several folk say that the often-used phrase, “It’s OK not to feel OK,” can make them feel even more of an outsider and less OK. Be prepared to adapt and change words that you use if you get feedback.
Thinking in this way can often be new for leaders. It can mean slowing down and really considering the impact of the words you’re using. If you’re used to working with numbers and facts for example, taking on a new perspective like this can sometimes feel daunting.
But, when you consider the words you use in an organisation context – (particularly when you’re talking about big change) and think about them from the perspective of the person on the receiving end, you’ll automatically be coming from a people-focused approach.
You’ll be fuelling connection using empathy and that connection will help to drive a more positive approach in your organisation. Which can only be a good thing.
If you would like to explore how coaching could help you change your style to stay people-focused in change, get in touch. I’d love to help.