September is a time of year that always has that ‘back to something’ feeling, whether it’s school or work – holidays are done and it’s then a countdown to Christmas. We’ve got our mojo back, we feel recharged and it’s time to roll our sleeves up and get stuff done.
Now we’re in October and reflecting back to last month, September didn’t feel like that here in the UK at all.
Image: Pixabay
Some folk felt like they came back to something they weren’t enjoying before the break. Others have come back to work and tried to pitch themselves at the same (high intensity) pace they’ve been fixed at for the last 18 months and wondering why they just can’t do that (our bodies aren’t built to keep running on adrenaline forever).
Some haven’t had a chance to take a break yet – the organisations they work for have weathered the impact of Covid so far but now need to ‘come out of the other side’. Demands just keep coming.
Added to which, many of us are having to shift our ways of working again – some are going back into a workspace full-time or are at least facing a continuation of remote working or getting used to a new, hybrid way of working.
Others are making life-changing decisions about what they want to do in their work and either mulling that over or parking it until they have time to do something about it (they’re fully aware they’re not sure when that will be).
Some are feeling angry and frustrated about what they experience, read or hear in the news or on social media and feel powerless to do anything. They don’t know where and how to vent those emotions.
And, for many more of us, it feels like we’ve got just too many things to worry about. So, it’s better to keep our heads down, keep going and focus on what’s important to us like our families and friends. It’s easier to keep ourselves to ourselves and focus on our own stuff.
If any of this sounds familiar and you feel like you might be at a bit of a tipping point, here are a few ideas that I’ve been discussing with and learning from folks since early September:
It’s not just you. Every one of us is going through some-thing. It might not be the same thing, but it’s a thing. Be aware that other people are still feeling heightened emotions just like you so try to be empathetic. If you need a reminder about empathy and what it looks like, spend three minutes watching this. Don’t forget to be compassionate towards yourself too – talk to yourself like you’d talk to your best friend – not your worst enemy.
You. Can’t. Do. Everything. If you struggle to prioritise and feel overwhelmed, the Eisenhower matrix could help. This isn’t about being more productive – it’s about dealing with what’s most important that doesn’t involve you getting up earlier each day to get everything done.
Let go of fear and ego. This is a really hard thing to do but fear of what others will think of us and our egos (‘what will they think of me?’) get in the way of asking for help as much as a lack of time. Being vulnerable, especially if you’re in a leadership role, and asking for support will help your team as much as it’ll help you. If you’re still trying to do everything and be a superhero, try to spread your superpowers. We are only human.
Give yourself a break and something to look forward to. Most people I know finish a day job and then start another role as a parent, carer, volunteer… [add your own description here]. I know you’re probably sick of me saying this but please, make some time for yourself in your day or evening where you can completely switch off. If you say you don’t have time to do this, start by finding five minutes in your day and take it from there.
Stop comparing yourself to others. We are all individuals, doing our own thing and working through our own challenges. What you see on social media is a teeny tiny window into someone’s life - it’s the window they open, that they want you to see.
Remember it takes time to change a habit – in James Clear’s book ‘Atomic Habits’ he explains that it takes anything from 18 to 254 days for people to form a new habit and do something differently. If you want to make a change, start with one small thing (see point 4.) get into a routine or a ritual with it, and grow it from there.
I offer coaching services to support people and teams who are facing big change and recognise it could be impacting their wellbeing.
It can include anything from planning a winter wellbeing routine to improving wellbeing and resilience to keep going when times are tough or simply having an accountability partner to help stay on track.
Get in touch if it sounds like this could be helpful for you.