Aside from a short book review, I’ve been away from my blog for a month. All the guidance I read says that we are ‘supposed to’ blog regularly and consistently but sometimes I don’t follow the rules. With all the change and upheaval that’s been going on, I decided to take a little time out to regroup and reprioritise what’s important to me. Along with that, I was struggling to see what I could share in a blog that would really be helpful when the world was very noisy. As I felt I couldn’t contribute anything useful, I said nothing.
Here’s the four unexpected things I’ve learned from taking a pause…
Image: Pixabay
Writing helps to make sense of things. Others have different ways of doing that. Chatting this through with a friend reminded me that writing, even just scribbles (which explains the post-it notes all over my desk), really helps me make sense of what’s going on around me. While my sense-making comes from writing, talking works for others. For some, it’s spending time on their own, which has been tricky during lockdown. Understanding what helps me – and others – has been hugely insightful in appreciating where people are coming from.
Give yourself a break. I heard myself saying I ‘should’ be blogging and sharing content, especially in the first week of not doing it. I started to feel guilty. My heart really wasn’t in anything I was writing, so I stopped. I made a conscious and very deliberate decision to let go of it until I felt I was in the right space to share and help. The ‘should’ disappeared.
Saying no helps. We have all been going through some pretty tricky times over the last few weeks and months. The overwhelm some have faced, and the disruption we’re all still going through, has had a big impact we probably won’t understand for some time. To avoid getting stuck in that overwhelm, I followed my own advice and said ‘no’ to some other stuff to give myself a bit of space. I’ll let things back in when it feels right. Or maybe not. You can’t help others if you don’t look after yourself first.
Be an active participant in your life. I heard this in a recent training course and it’s really stuck with me. When life takes over with things that are out of our control, we can get side-tracked into a parallel universe of ‘busyness’, without time to pause and reprioritise. It can be even easier to be busy and avoid listening to our feelings. It’s very easy for me to sit here and say we can all do this, especially if we’re busy with work or other commitments. Every one of us is going through something unique. But, taking just a few minutes to reflect before I dive in to doing anything has made a massive difference to me, helping to create a sense of control.
Back in March, I wrote in the Twist newsletter about how getting some feeling of control in our lives can help us when we feel stuck in big change. Making a decision to do something – in my case not to write my blog for a while and giving myself some space – can be really powerful. It can help us get some control back. It has definitely helped me.
So, what are you not going to do today?