At the moment, every day in the UK seems to bring something new and we keep having to adjust and adapt, at what feels like warp speed. Recently, I have had so many conversations where one of us, at some point, says something along the lines of “Crikey, was that only last week?” At the moment, talking with someone two weeks ago feels like it happened last year.
Image: Incygneia, Pixabay
For me, this distortion in time perspective is compounded by the different responses I’m feeling and seeing in me, and others, when we’re facing this unprecedented change. I’ve been hijacked by my emotions and found myself being really angry and swearing, happy and confused, bored and anxious all in the space of a few hours. Today, I’m fine – I’m cracking on with writing and have had fewer concentration challenges than I had yesterday, and things are not feeling quite so shambolic. Who knows what tomorrow might bring?
To help me make some sort of sense of how I, and others, are responding, I’ve revisited some of the work I’ve done with clients around organisation change in the last 15 years and particularly in helping engage their teams (=their fellow human beings) and looking after their – and their teams’ - wellbeing during change. Here are some of the things I’ve found most useful so far.
1. We’re all on different journeys – understanding this helps
It feels like we’re still moving at turbo speed and people are at different stages in experiencing and processing what’s going on around them. Each of us may have different or similar things to deal with, but even with similar challenges, our responses can be very different. I still find the Kübler Ross model, originally designed to explain the process of grieving, a really useful and timely reminder of the stages that we go through in change.
Adapted from the Kübler-Ross Change Model
This is not a linear curve. As in the stages we experience with grief, you can regularly go backwards and forwards. This goes some way to explaining my skipping from frustration and fear to getting excited about using the Houseparty app to see my family on the other side of the world, all in one afternoon.
2. Just like grief, this is a process
As I’ve heard from a few friends and colleagues, grief is playing a huge role in what they’re going through. Just like grief, as the Kübler-Ross model shows, this is a process. This Harvard Business Review article has been really helpful in explaining what’s happening in this respect.
When I’ve shared this curve to talk about the organisational change process with clients, the emotional responses they might expect to see and the communication approaches that could work at each stage, I stress the importance of being open about feelings and encouraging others to do the same. And this is no different.
Pausing to recognise, name and understand these feelings in yourself – and others – can go some way to helping to manage them. Honest conversations – and in my case, apologising for ranting – can also help.
3. We’re continuously renegotiating what’s appropriate
We’ve all seen organisations and leaders who have completely wrong-footed the tone and mood of their approaches and misjudged the words they’ve used, particularly in the early days of this crisis, and the responses to these have been harsh. And it’s still happening. When things are moving this fast, listening, getting honest feedback from people you trust and responding to that feedback can help to avoid insensitivity.
But it’s not just leaders and organisations. The constantly shifting, unwritten rules we’re working to now have led to really unexpected conversations with friends about food deliveries and how best to help others stay safe. In the absence of specific instruction, we’re all trying to do the right thing. And, be prepared to apologise.
4. Not everything is changing
Often – and especially now - it can feel like everything is changing. In our current situation for example, parents are becoming teachers, events have been called off and we can’t see family and friends face-to-face. In organisation change, I ask teams to identify and highlight what is – and isn’t changing - to help people identify what’s already working and, where relevant, incorporate this into the new. Having some things, even the small stuff, that stay the same can really help.
5. Your first response might not be your final one
It’s still early days. Things will progress and as we get more information, we will continue to adjust and adapt. But be prepared to be humble and apologise if you need to (see point 2.)
6. Be kind – to yourself and others
This is fast turning into mantra with my friends and colleagues. We’re all working through something scary, which most of us have never had to face before and when it’s happening at speed, the mental health impacts this can bring can be brushed off or ignored. Talking about how you’re feeling when things feel overwhelming really does help.
I don’t want to sound preachy, but this is most definitely a marathon and not a sprint for us all. We’ll need bravery and bucketloads of empathy and compassion for others and ourselves to work through it. The good news is, we’re seeing lots more of this, already. We’re all doing the best we can.