I read an absolutely brilliant blog by Rachel Extance about over-sharing. This prompted me to really think about different aspects of sharing – what I share about myself on social and with my work colleagues and clients. I work as an independent consultant so mostly work on my own, from home. However, I have a great group of really supportive friends and a tribe, which means I have a good support network, key for good mental health and wellbeing. As Rachel mentioned, we all have a personal life and it’s really up to us what – and how – we share.
heinzremyschindler on Pixabay
However, Rachel’s blog – and some experiences I’ve had in the last couple of weeks – really made me think in particular about how we share information with prospective clients, especially when we work as independents. A few weeks ago, I was pitching for some work with a colleague. We had one shot at it and an agreed date and time to attend. Two days before, I had some bad news about someone in our family. Our pitch was all about the team – the two of us being there was key – so what to do?
Well, I shared my news with my colleague, and I’d decided that I’d carry on and I’d keep the details to myself. I knew I wasn’t firing on all cylinders as we went through, but I carried on, very aware about halfway through that I was probably letting the side down. I just wasn’t myself - I didn’t speak much (which is definitely not normal for me) and felt unprepared and preoccupied. Unsurprisingly, we didn’t get the work.
So, what did I learn?
You can’t kid yourself, however hard you try - however well you think you are performing on the outside, your emotions can trip you up and you may not even realise it, particularly in the heat of something like a pitch
Trust your gut and remember your values - although I feel very confident sharing things with a select number of people in my network, I definitely didn’t feel comfortable sharing with this potential client why I wasn’t firing on all cylinders. After thinking about this, it was because I felt they may not understand and we would lose the opportunity, based on our interactions ahead of the pitch. Trusting my gut meant I probably should have said it out loud anyway. If we’d lost the opportunity due to that then the client didn’t match our value set – which matters a great deal to both me and my colleague
On any given day, we are all battling with something - what you see isn’t always what’s going on, even with someone you know really well.
Think carefully about why and when you are sharing and what the impact might be on others and indeed on you, through your sharing. This is very tricky and can be controversial. I tend to over-think this to be honest which probably led to my decision not to share in this case. However, I do feel that if my sharing something that might make people feel awkward or sorry for me, could lead to a difficult decision for them or them treating me differently, it might just be better not to do it. Sometimes, walking away without giving a reason works for me. Remember, we don’t always have to explain.
If you’re commissioning any sort of pitch, think about what you want from the people involved and remember that they are human beings too. Consider the wording of the materials you send out and put yourself in the shoes of the person receiving them. Remember that you are setting the tone for a potential working relationship. They can choose not to work with you too.
Thank goodness, my family issue is improving. As well as this pitch, I ended up resigning another project in the process to make more space in my life to focus on this – it’s about getting the priorities right.
Next time, I’ll listen to my gut, take a chance on sharing what’s relevant and if it means missing out, then it wasn’t meant to be.
We’re all a work in progress.